HIV IN 2010........WE HAVE GOT TO STOP THIS NEW WIDE SPREAD MADNESS...................................
Does it ever seem to you that death fromHIV/AIDShas an affinity for men that hook up with other men? I ask this question because this year alone a few persons I know of died from this killer. I would like to think that they took care of themselves, but I know that would be a lie. SO many of them lived as if they had NO care in the world…the party does NOT stop after they get diagnose with HIV/AIDS. I suppose they figure it doesn’t matter anymore because the unthinkable has become thinkable. This saddens me to no end because it is bad enough that we are not PROTECTING ourselves from this killer, but we are proving the moral majority to be right by living/dying like this disease was sent to rid us off this planet.
As I think about the men that were lost to this disease, I often wonder, if being who they are (gay) made them feel as they are were/areTHEembodiment of an unnatural sin? I sit and think about how many of them wished they could have maintained their ‘godly’ heterosexuality by wanting wives and children? I wonder how many of them freaked out in private, curled into the fetal position, crying as HIV/AIDS became their reality. How many more gay men will have to fight HARD to recondition themselves to fight against the stigma of this disease.
OUR LUST FOR EACH OTHER IS KLLING US! We as gay men are fighting SO hard to end up ALONE! I LOVE fucking the next guy as much as anyone else, but I think about spooning on rainy Sunday mornings, receiving that surprise gift from that special man who knows my middle name. Life's a lot longer than just 9-12 inches and I don't want us to find ourselves preparing to die from a disease that doesn’t care about us @ all.
I am tired of us being the victim that has been robbed and beaten by my friends and my family. I am tired of us being the forgotten, the lost and the abandoned. It brings tears to my eyes to think of the men who have passed that were SO disconnected and dissociated from THE source.
What I’m saying is that we can choose to go on or we can choose to give up. We make choices for a lot of reasons, but every reason we choose seeks to do one thing, it takes us further on our journey. However we as gay men play SO hard that we take ourselves to the place where we can’t adequately address our needs. We find ourselves prowling the websites.... seeking that empty, anonymous sexual contact while blocking any opportunity for true intimacy. I can see it now, the eye contact…the pulling out of the dick, and rarely I would imagine is the words uttered...... LET’S GET A CONDOM?
In the heat of the moment, he allows himself to be taken and in the back of his mind, he KNOWS he is doing something that can AND will hurt him…Or has he convinced himself that this one isolated, unprotected sexual encounter will NOT lead to his ultimate demise? Risky behavior in 2010 is a nightmare....and I look at the websites that have 21 22 and 25 year old's who are poz....... The rush that it provides makes us feel SO ALIVE!When will this behavior cease? I don’t think it will cease until even the gay adult film industry STOPS glamorizing un protected anal sex..
Many gay men learned @ a very young age to be dishonest and deceitful, all to conceal their true identity, as it was deemed devilish, ungodly, or plain perverted. This behavior simply perpetuates itself throughout one's life. Before long, a person begins to believe that how they are living is "acceptable," therefore projecting their lies and bullshit onto others, who are unsuspecting and being hurt in the process. Do you see the vicious cycle? As desire turned into a need that ends up costing us our lives, we tell ourselves that we could get away with "just one more" unprotected sex act. While I have no qualms about promiscuity, I tend to question if weTRULY LOVEourselves? I get our need to be fulfilling in all aspects of the sex we are having, but SAFE SEX is ABSOLUTELY necessary. TOO many of us have yet to mature physically, mentally, and spiritually to the point where we can connect on a REAL level with another man. Somewhere DEEP down inside, there is a voice telling SO many of us that sleeping with men is wrong. Religion does not help us think BETTER OF OURSELVES.
NO matter how much education is available to us, or how many individuals we see lose their lives to HIV/AIDS, the reality is that this behavior will continue to perpetuate itself and I am left writing entries like this. .....i ASK questions daily...... like do gay men know how to be intimate......are the younger generation of gay men doomed to become the next chapter of HIV/AIDS?...........CAN gay men be involved in "fun, erotic, stimulating friendships" There has got to be a more educated approach to the NEW GAY SEXUAL REVOLUTION in 2010.
